Because Others Might Understand: P.T.S.D.

She can’t explain the sudden fits of rage and despair
She can’t explain the feelings of hopelessness that have gripped her for the past three years

She can’t tell her family, although she’s tried, but they just brush it off as normal stress
Stress of school
Stress of moving
But that is nothing compared to the stress of simply making it from day to day

The day to day interactions with her family
A family who doesn’t understand what she’s feeling
They don’t understand that she cannot control her emotions.
The roller coaster that has become her life

So what other ways can she express her rage?
How? Everyone simply thinks she’ll get over these issues.
She won’t.
She wants them to leave her alone. She wants them to understand without having to break the chain she’s placed on her emotions.
She’s locked then down so tight she hardly feels anything anymore
It’s just a numbness that makes it easier to function.

But she’s so completely over the despair. The rage needs to be finished. The flashbacks need to be finished.
She needs her life back. She’s begging to have her life back.
She wants herself back.

 

 

This post today was to spread awareness that not only service men and women can be diagnosed with PTSD. It is something that many  other people suffer, and regardless of how you came to be diagnosed with it, it is a struggle on a daily basis and it is very hard to feel like your life has any worth left. I do have moments of hope where I think we can get better. Keep trying.

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