It hasn’t been a sudden abandonment, but I am sitting here wondering why I don’t have confidence in my own writing before. Maybe that’s because I tend to not be confident in a lot of things, but writing was the one thing I could be confident about.
I’ve tried to write on three different occasions today, but all I can do when I sit down is think that my writing is trash. I can’t really get past that hurdle and work on stuff if I don’t have confidence in my own creativity. It certainly is very alarming, and I honestly don’t know how to go about fixing it.
I know that part of it is I’m not around the people I once confided to about my writing, and I feel a bit alone when I work. Granted, writing is a lonely profession, but that’s not quite what I’m talking about here. I’m trying to write, but I don’t know what to do after those pages are written. They just sit there on my computer. Although the story may be progressing (even if it is poor progression) the work itself just sits there stagnant on my computer gathering imaginary dust.
I guess I’m not stuck when it comes to writing because I can put words down on paper, but I’m stuck in trusting myself that this is what I want to do. I know it deep down in my bones that I couldn’t be satisfied doing anything else, but that doesn’t mean that my insecurities don’t have me wondering why my confidence decided to go on a vacation.