I think the weather has been doing a wonderful job of matching my mood lately. It drizzled all day yesterday, but Boise has now graced us with a really yucky mix of rain/slush that is obviously telling me I should stay inside until spring. I am so ready for spring. My husband loves winter because he’s a complete ski bum the whole season, but I like being able to walk to my car without five different layers of heat retention clothing on.
Nevermind that I’m a wimp when it comes to the cold. That has nothing to do with it.
I had hoped to have my manuscript almost ready to send to my editor at the time of writing this, but that is just not the case. It’s nothing super dramatic, but I found a place that I could majorly improve the story while I was taking one last look at Neon Girlfriend.
I realized that I had a decision to make: I could either send it to her essentially unfinished, or I could probably make the more mature and smart decision to withhold the manuscript until it was at a place that I was completely comfortable with when I finally sent it away.
I picked the later, although I tried to find a ton of half-baked solutions that would have allowed me to send it off early. I didn’t want to wait any longer. I still don’t want to wait. I don’t want to delay this process anymore, and I’m frustrated. I’m frustrated because it feels like I’m hitting a new milestone in hiring an editor to look at my work.
It’s no longer something that just a few select readers have looked at. It’s something that a professional will break apart, find the weak points, and ultimately give her opinion on. I felt like I was at the gate of the race, the bit between my teeth because I wasn’t going to let anyone slow me down, only to found out I’d been preparing to run the wrong race.
This set back really drove home that writing is not something that plays well with deadlines. Sure we set them, and we sit down as often as possible trying to make the story match up with that deadline, but writing isn’t mechanical. It sometimes doesn’t do what we want.
The majority of the time I love the surprises that writing brings, but I’m not going to lie when I say that I was pretty bent out of shape with this latest holdup.
I’m able to look at it now with a more level head, and I’m going to make the most of it, but I had to take a step away from Neon Girlfriend for a while when I realized the decision I would have to make.
It felt like I got into a fight with a friend or partner. I couldn’t understand why things weren’t working out the way I wanted. Yes, I try to micromanage everything (something I’m trying to be better about), but I felt betrayed and confused why this wasn’t working the way I’d planned.
I’m happy to say that I’ve been working on the changes without too much lasting bitterness.
My editor doesn’t have time again until the end of spring, so I have plenty of time to make sure everything is running smoothly, and I can only hope that there won’t be any more hiccups when the time finally comes to send Neon Girlfriend on her way to be reviewed.