Discussing feminism in The Crown. [No spoilers]

I really hadn’t intended to post something like this until last night when my husband and I were watching Netflix’s original series The Crown. I really enjoy series like this one, and I’m only three episodes in, but I think the characters are well done, and I’ve heard the budget for the show is astronomical.

I was a bit surprised when my husband wanted to watch it with me. He likes period pieces, but tends to lean more towards darker dramas. Although not a period piece, Breaking Bad was one of his favorite shows, and that’s about as dark as they come.

So, we’re sitting down to watch the third episode, and for those who haven’t watched it, the main issues of this episode are where Queen Elizabeth and her family are going to live (they currently reside outside of Buckingham Palace), what surname will be used (Mountbatten or Windsor), and when Queen Elizabeth’s coronation will take place.

For the sake of the post I’m only looking at the first two issues that I mentioned, although the third does bring up others issues in the show although they focus more on the political aspect rather than the familial.

Long story short, Churchill and Elizabeth’s cabinet want her to keep the name Windsor, and to move into Buckingham Palace. She is initially reluctant because she mentions numerous times not liking the palace, and she doesn’t want to be rude to her husband by demanding that their children keep the name of Windsor.

Anyone who had watched the news knows that Queen Elizabeth does in fact reside in Buckingham Palace, and her male heirs do use the name Windsor, so the suspense of what the ultimate outcome will be is rather short changed, but that is not where the tension of the episode arises.

It is in Prince Philip, her husband’s reaction that we see the conflict. Upon hearing from Elizabeth that they will be moving, and that Windsor will be the family name, Philip is understandably upset.

He says something along the lines that this marriage isn’t what he thought. He blames Elizabeth for moving the family away from their home, for ruining his career, and taking away his name.

At this point I mentioned to my husband that I thought Philip was being a jerk. Elizabeth was always meant to take the throne, he knew that, and he only assumed that the Windsor name would be discontinued. I understand  that neither had expected her to take on the role of Queen until much later in their lives, but he’s acting as if all of this is a shock.

Anyhow, my husband said that it wasn’t fair that all these things be taken away from him, and it dawned on me that he was just seeing it from his perspective. When we got married, I gave up my name, my job, and my home to move across the country to be with him. Yes, I knew what I was signing up for, and there are times when I feel as if didn’t quite understand what that meant for me.

In regard to the show, I was Philip and he was Elizabeth. I understand why Philip was upset because there are numerous other factors at work regarding their family, but at the core the issue was still the same.

My husband thought that Philip giving up his career, his last name, and his home was too great a sacrifice in the marriage, and he felt as though his rude treatment of Elizabeth was warranted. I don’t think he realized fully that I had done the same thing for him until I called him out on it.

To be clear, I wasn’t mad at my husband’s initial response because he has no other experience except his own, but I wanted him to see things from a different one. To understand that what Philip is so mad about is what women were often expected to do without question.

I think we were both a bit surprised by my comment, but we ended up discussing it a little bit more before moving on. He even mentioned that he wished there were a way to make marriage more “even”. We are in a healthy relationship, and we share the responsibilities of it 50/50. I didn’t have to give up the things I did to marry him, but it was my choice, and it is one that I am happy with.

I can certainly say that I gained even more respect for my husband for willing to look at a view other than his own and see where his own perspective was lacking. I’m looking forward to when he can do the same for me because that is how we grow as a couple.

Mastering Time in the Graduate World

Hey readers,book-colors-photography-text-Favim.com-579100

It’s been way too long, and I have no one to blame but myself. Life has been pretty hectic since Christmas. Right after the holidays were over I flew back to Vermont for my residency. It went really well, and I’ve made a lot of progress on my thesis. Which is great, but I haven’t really had a chance to take a breath since I got back. Such is the nature of graduate programs, I guess. I love it, but wow. I can’t imagine what a PhD program looks like. Luckily, my degree is terminal, so they don’t even offer a PhD program.

I also agreed to be the Submissions Editor for the school’s literary journal. It’s been a lot of fun. I was worried about it at first because people were saying it was a huge time commitment. It requires quite a lot of organizational prowess, and not to toot my own horn, but I’m the queen of organization. Well, my desk and papers anyway. Just don’t look at my closet. It looks like a tornado crash landed in there.

And we’re moving soon! Sorta soon. End of March soon, but it feels like it’s coming up a lot faster, and I’m worried at how the animals will handle the drive to Texas. Hoshi gets car sick pretty easily, but that’s usually if we’re driving in the city. I’m sad that we’ll be leaving Seattle. It has been such a great place to live, and we’ve made some really great friends here.  I am curious to see what opportunities we will find in Texas. One thing for sure, we’ll get a bigger apartment! 480 square feet wasn’t bad when Hoshi was small, but he just turned 7 months old, and just passed the 80lb mark. He still thinks that he fits in my lap.

Now that my schedule is more regulated I will try my best to get posts out on a timely manner, and if I have the time I might start posting writing prompts during the week. Just for fun, but if anyone is having writer’s block it might be something to get those cogs turning again.

Wow, I just realized how much I’ve missed posting. Not that I really have anything special to say, but writing out one’s thoughts is quite relaxing. I should start a journal. I have a journal. There isn’t anything in it. It was a gift, it’s beautiful, and I haven’t touched it because I don’t want to muck up the pages.

Well, I hope you all are having a splendid Friday. It’s raining here, so I’m inside reading all day (those are the best days).

Back in Vermont!

I’m back in Vermont for my second residency as a graduate student. It’s a lot colder than last time, but I feel a lot better about coming because I know that to expect. Last time I was just a bundle of nerves the whole time, but now I feel like I can actually focus.

Once I get back on the 12th, posts will resume their intended (but not always achieved) goal of being posted on Fridays. We had family come into town for the holidays and posting seemed rather silly at that point.

It will be good to be back in school. I go a little crazy when I don’t have school. Work is fine, and it keeps me occupied, but I like school. A lot.

Stay warm, and I hope you all have a great day!

It’s been a while…anyone still there?

Yep. I’m pretty sure I haven’t posted in a few weeks. I just haven’t had anything interesting to post about. Really, it would have been an account of me sitting in front of my computer twiddling my thumbs (yes, I do that). I had started my new job, which I really liked, but I was put under review (completely normal when starting at the company), but the review took longer than expected because it came during Thanksgiving break.

So, I’ve just been working on school work, and hopefully I will get an answer back from them today. I’m technically on break from school, but it’s been nice to work on research and writing without the deadline peering over my shoulder. I generally work really well with deadlines. It makes me work faster, and I’m pretty great at time management, but every time I sent it work I was always wondering if it was too rushed because of my timeline. Working without a deadline has also let me work on stuff other than my thesis. I will admit, I’ve become rather attached to my thesis work, but taking a break and writing for fun has been nice.

On a random note, our puppy has been growing and growing lately. I don’t think he’ll ever stop. He’s a little over 60 lbs, and he just turned six months old.

Look at my ears! (Look at this face! How could you resist this face? You can’t. He demands attention all the time. He’s also the biggest snuggle bug ever.)

He’s a couch puppy, and I think he takes up more of the couch than I do. I keep thinking he’s going to level out, and not grow so quickly, but I swear he’s taller than he was last week. He’s a sweetie, and he’s rocking puppy training classes. I’m a proud puppy parent.

Welp. That’s it. I hope you are having a phenomenal Friday, dear readers. You know, if you’re still reading. :3

It’s a Gilmore Girls and ice cream kind of a day

It’s rainy today in Seattle (go figure), and everyone seems to be coming down with a cold (myself included), and since I am absolutely worthless when I’m sick I’m having a binge movie day.

School work is also kicking my butt, so I may be avoiding that as well, but at this point I don’t care.

Hoshi is the best. Big surprise. Sometimes I forget he’s so young because he’s generally so well behaved.

Anyhow, I hope you all are having a more productive Friday than I am.

Happy Reading.

Stop the Comcast takeover.

Hey guys,

So I don’t usually get involved with things like this, but I think that the internet should be equal for everyone. If you think so, then check out this site. They are doing some really good work to try and keep net neutrality a thing.

Don’t let Comcast take over half of America’s Internet. Tell Congress & @FCC to #StoptheTakeover”

via Stop the Comcast takeover..

My 20’s aren’t what I thought they would be

I’m sure everyone come to this realization some point in their life that real life and media are not consistent on how to represent the average 20-something-year-old. I’m fine with that. I’ve always known that, but in the past few days I’ve felt this itching under my skin.

I’m not unhappy with my life, but I feel as though I’m lacking in some way. I thought I would be more adventurous. I thought that moving out to Seattle meant that I would find friends that I could hang out with all the time. I’m not sure why I thought that because other people have lives, and I like my quiet time, but I thought moving out here would somehow make all my problems disappear, but in reality it has only made them smaller.

While that is a good thing, I still think I’m searching for something that I haven’t found in my life yet.

I think I’m still searching for me. That sounds corny, and I know that this is the time in a person’s life where there is a lot of change, but give me a minute to explain myself.

I lived at home through college. Not because I didn’t want to live with roommates, but because I was taking care of my mother. I’ve talked about my mother a bit, but to put things simply she had a stroke and spent some very tense months in the hospital where we were told multiple times that she wouldn’t make it. Now, for a then 18 year old that’s pretty traumatic. She couldn’t speak for a long time, and finally hearing her speak again was one of the best moments of my life.

She had to learn how to walk again. How to get in and out of a car. Numerous things that we take for granted. After extensive therapy she was finally able to come home, and I thought that everything would return to normal.

It wasn’t the normal of before, but it became the new normal. My father is a saint and did more than I could ever do. The doctors visits, and keeping track of her medication was stressful when I was trying to balance school work as well, but I didn’t mind. I’d do it again in a heart beat, but I took on the role of caretaker more so than any other “role” I could fill.

I don’t know if it makes sense, but I was more caretaker than I was myself, and I’ve come to a point where that responsibility is no longer mine and I no longer identify by it. So, I find myself stuck. I find myself struggling on a day to day basis trying to figure out just who Sara is because I honestly don’t know sometimes.

I love my school work. I love saying that I’m getting my Master’s, but I feel like that’s only one part of me. A large part, but there are areas of myself I don’t understand. When I was 18 I thought that by now I’d have my life figured out, but that isn’t the case. Some of my friends seem like they have their lives figured out. Maybe they do. Maybe they don’t. I’m sure in some way we’re all in the same boat.

I’m fine with not fully knowing who I am. I’m fine with trying new things, but I’m also hoping that when I look back on this time in my life I might be able to say that I finally started to figure out who am.

Waiting to hear back from my advisor!

So,  I sent in my first packet of work for my teacher to review. I’m super nervous because I don’t think it is the best work I could have provided, but I wasn’t sure how to change it to make it better, so I just sent it in the way it was. I wouldn’t say it’s horrible, but there are areas of the story that I think are really weak. Hopefully she’ll have some really helpful ideas that will make the story better.

In the meantime I’m working on the reading for the paper I have to write, and the book that I’m reading is probably one of the more dense and difficult books I’ve ever read. It’s The Obscene Bird of Night by Jose Donoso, and I don’t think it has ever taken me this long to read a book. He has sentences in here that go on for pages. My humble mind has a hard time following such in depth stream-of-conscious narration. It’s phenomenal, and I think that if I read it maybe five or six more times I might start to understand the deeper nuances of the book, but for right now I kind of feel like I’m getting battered around by this book. You should all try and read it if you crave a challenge. It certainly is that.

On an entirely different note we may be getting a puppy. Probably not too soon, maybe in the next couple of weeks, but the lady that we’ve been talking to about her dogs said that she would have a litter ready around Christmas time. Originally, that was fine with us because it would give us plenty of time to puppy proof our apartment. However, she emailed us a few days ago saying that she has a little boy that no one claimed and wanted to know if we wanted a puppy sooner. So, we’re driving up to meet the lady and the puppy this weekend to see if it’s something we want to try and do. Before anyone freaks out and says that I’m not thinking this through enough, let me assure you, I don’t make big decisions like this without taking a great deal of time to weigh both the pros and the cons of every situation.

The only thing I’m really worried about it I hope we don’t terrorize our cat too much. He can be really shy and skittish when he first encounters something new, but once he realizes that it isn’t going to eat him he usually warms up to change rather well.I imagine that when he does get used to having a puppy in the apartment, whether we get one in a few weeks or around Christmas time, that they will become the dastardly duo. Lord help our little apartment when that day comes.

Anyhow, this has been an insanely long post, but I hope I didn’t bore you all to death. Sometimes my calm life turns exciting, and this seems to be one of those times. I usually don’t have this much to talk about.

Well, happy Friday! Have a great weekend, dear readers!

Sorry this is late…my computer broke.

So I’ve been doing all of my school work on lined paper for the past few days because the processor went out on my laptop. It was an older computer, so I don’t feel too bad, but I hate buying new things.

Luckily, Google made Chromebooks that are cheap, and exactly what I need: something that has a word processor, music, and the internet. I’m still getting used to the keyboard which has different spacing, but it’s already miles better than my old laptop. My old one used to heat up so much that it burned your skin if you touched it.

This one has yet to do that.

I’m getting slightly stressed with my deadline coming up, but I think I’ll have everything done in time.

I hope you all had a lovely Friday!

I know I should be grateful

So, here’s the thing, if you don’t want to listen to a rant that’s pretty much what this post is.

You have been warned.

I know I should be forever thankful that I have a job. It’s been ingrained in me by countless family members that even if you hate the job at least you have one. Yes, although I may not like the fact that the world runs on money it is a fact of life. When I come home and I’m mad at basically everything because my job is demeaning and the customers we draw in have a tendency to be very rude then I start to wonder if I really should be grateful.

Yes, I’ll only be working there for eight more months, and as my coworker sometimes irritatingly mentions that I don’t work very much, I feel guilty for being frustrated. The fact is all the workers are frustrated, and there are times when we take it out on each other without meaning to. I know that if I do what I have to in the early game I’ll be able to do what I want to later in life, but that just seems like it leads to a bunch of bitter in-dept young people who have degrees that they would like to use but aren’t able to in the way they’d like.

There was a point when I liked my job. It was the honeymoon phase of my barista career, and it lasted maybe four months. Now, there really isn’t anything that makes me look forward to going to work. It used to be the friends I’d made there, but they are all getting different jobs, and as much as I’d like to find one too I’m only going to be in Seattle for 8 more months and not many people are willing to hire for that short of time.

So, I’ve dug myself into a ditch. I’ve shackled myself to the job because I was so worried about not having one when we moved here that I took the first one that came my way. I love the friends I’ve made, and I genuinely hope that we stay friends after I leave, but hopefully we won’t have to work together anymore…at least not where we currently work.